Which is worse?

[Oliver's Army]

It's been almost two weeks since the tsunami tragedy. The people who are missing are all presumed dead by now. Most of the dead are no longer identifiable and thousands may be buried in anonymous graves.

I wonder what would be worse. (or better, depending on your point of view).

Getting the call from an offical informing you that your loved one was found dead.

Or never getting the call but knowing in your heart they were dead.

This was a long conversation over several Blue Moon beers and it was a split decision.

EDIT - I relised that the poll was in opposition to the question, it has been revised.

This does not discount Antihero and Bassmarts thoughts. I believe both would want to know in fact, and NOT knowing would be worse.

[antihero999]

here's what i think. it would be like reading a book until the last chapter then quitting because you think you know how it ended, that would be like never getting the call. 0that would suck. i personally read till the end and would want to get the call just for closure. what if they hit their head and lost their memory and just wandered indonesia till they died. i would never give up looking if i didn't get that call.

[Oliver's Army]

lets assume it's either/or for now.

[BasSmArt]

I'd rather know in fact, but I highly recommend watching Dancer in the Dark; the film is a big commentary about answering this question.

[The Hand of Poo]

It's the anxiety of not knowing for me. If I know the facts, I can deal with them.