how on earth can i get him NOT to like me

independent_Jes · Post by **independent_Jes** » Mon Jan 03, 2005 4:33 pm

we all know how you have a friend who, is just a friend. nothing mere more than that. or you only talked to that person at school or at work. You've only hung out a few times. and they just happen to know where you live. One day you hear the door bell ring. And it happens to be that friend.
so on and on. you hang out even more, then one day you just happen to get these huge vibes off of them, that they happen to like you more than a friend. You have told this friend, and even kind of put them in their place, about you only seeing them as a friend, nothing more.
then you kind of stop hanging out with them. And have your friends or family tell them you are not home.
then one day they show up at your job. and they try to ignore you but they just can't. and then when you joke around with your other co-workers you go in to the back door, and ask if they can come in, and that one friend is right behind you, like you could step back a little bit and bump into them.
then when you are going back inside, they look like they want to hug you.
and so on, you tell all of your friends about them, they relate him to that one movie with marky mark and reese withspoon.
then freaky crap happens to and people standing outside your bedroom. just crazy things you would never think would happen.
so then all your friends call them a stalker.

well if didnt guess it, i have this Dilemma. a boy named Chris Strong, happens to like me more than a friend, and frankily i dont like him anything more than a friend. and My family and friends call him my stalker. and need help with this, i never really had this happen before.

sharkmansix · Post by **sharkmansix** » Mon Jan 03, 2005 4:37 pm

If someone is hanging out on your property without concent, call the cops.

Call 911 if they are looking in your window.

No offence to the guy, but once he crossed the comfort line, all bets are off.

rezin · Post by **rezin** » Mon Jan 03, 2005 5:47 pm

im quite intrigued by the "f*ck him" choice...maybe turned on...i dont know...

loach · Post by **loach** » Mon Jan 03, 2005 7:25 pm

Man, The 'f**k him' votes are gaining.......... go dude go....

antihero999 · Post by **antihero999** » Mon Jan 03, 2005 11:01 pm

its such a dirty solution but from the male point of view its the only solution.

Post by **cwallace** » Tue Jan 04, 2005 9:02 am

Just sit him down and say this:

Anderson...I know you have been a good friend, but that is ALL you are...blah blah blah...

C-Dub

HillgrassBluebillyFTW · Tue Jan 04, 2005 11:09 am

tell him you're doing me... or better yet show him video...

independent_Jes · Post by **independent_Jes** » Tue Jan 04, 2005 11:37 am

No! lol not anderson. i love anderson hes so awesome, except he still hasn't given me my tattoo.
but some of my guy friends think i am being shallow because i dont like him for what he looks like, thats not the number one reason. he is a Mark Prior too! he couldnt even get into a mosh pit at a few shows we went too. and he personality is not cool at all. he smothers me. but the number one reason is his personality, then its his looks.

independent_Jes · Post by **independent_Jes** » Tue Jan 04, 2005 11:41 am

maybe i should...lol

Oliver's Army · Post by **Oliver's Army** » Tue Jan 04, 2005 11:42 am

Why don't you Email him a link to this thread?

I think he might get it then.

independent_Jes · Post by **independent_Jes** » Tue Jan 04, 2005 12:21 pm

i dont think he has email.

BasSmArt · Post by **BasSmArt** » Tue Jan 04, 2005 2:39 pm

If he isn't taking you seriously now, I doubt he will. He probably thinks that persistence or showing you how sincere he is will prove him to be better than the other guys and that obviously no other man could feel so deeply for you.

I'm not trying' to be rude with this response, but this is how it's worked out every time for me and I don't think there is anything you can really do about it except know that you were honest with him and hope that he recognizes that at a later date.

The Breakdown of the Persistent Nice Guy Scenario...
-guy persists believing he will prove to you he is better than the other guys with his true and loyal heart. Sometimes he is even proving something to himself by truly winning a girl through his "merit."
-girl is honest with guy and tells him she is not interested, but values and will continue the friendship.
-guy uses this "oath" of friendship the girl mentioned as leverage to spend more time with her and make her feel guilty when she doesn't want to spend as much time with the guy as he does with her.
-next, one of the following will happen:
a. girl begins to feel taken advantage of or tired of the guy's demands to spend time together and strikes out in heated frustration or ignores the guy to respect her space, something he isn't doing. While he thinks the girl isn't respecting the friendship by not meeting his needs in the friendship, he is failing to recognize that he is not respecting hers and believes his own part of the friendship is more important than hers.
b. guy will begin to feel taken advantage of for being so nice without any benefit of your affection b/c he believed that if he was truly a good guy, obviously you too would want him. He'll probably get angry at either himself or you and feel like he was led on or lied to as he obscures some innocent action on your part as justification for being a better person than you. He might even claim that you are a mean person for not being comfortable spending as much time together at the present.
-after he's mad at you for 1-3 months for action a or b, hopefully he'll realize you were honest and be your friend again.

In simple terms, if he's persisting, he doesn't respect your needs (space) as just as important as his needs (non-space). In his efforts to prove how enamored and loyal he is by being around you, he's also proving that he sees his needs as more important than yours so I agree with you Jes, his personality bites as a bf or friend right now. If he doesn't listen the first time, you're certainly not obligated to continue to deal with this issue; ignore him, call cops, tell him he's being inconsiderate and you don't want to be around him for such and such amount of time. But certainly don't feel guilty about him not listening to or taking you seriously.

I'm only judging from experience, but hopefully some of above helps. I know I'd be really annoyed in your shoes.

sharkmansix · Post by **sharkmansix** » Tue Jan 04, 2005 2:48 pm

pseudo-quoting Chris Rock:

"You know what a male friend is to a woman? It's a d*ck in a glass case, break in case of emergency."

I've been the back burner guy before.....

independent_Jes · Post by **independent_Jes** » Tue Jan 04, 2005 4:21 pm

basSmArt thanks

i think you hit nail on the head

independent_Jes · Post by **independent_Jes** » Wed Jan 05, 2005 1:16 am

well he hasn't called since sunday,
he called me like 4 times, but my dad told him i just got, home from work and was cleaning myself up. then he told him to tell me to call him.

ha like i would, then he called 4 more times, the 2nd my sister hung up the phone. like she picked it up then hung it up. then the 3rd time my mom said i tooked the dog outside for a walk. then the 4th time i picked it up then hung it up. then i 5th time. my mom yelled at me, and told me to talk to him. i answered it, extremely rude. he asked me how i was doing, i told him i was hanging out with my brother.then he asked me if i wanted to something. i ignored him, b/c that was stupid to even ask me. then he finally asked if he was bothering me. i said yes! then he said sorry and bye. i just turned the phone off. i am so proud of myself.

and he hasn't called then

but i wonder how long it will last. but it was last sunday, the 26th of December. i think he might of gotten the hint. but 'sometimes' he call by thursday if he hasnt talked to me in a while. guess there is only one way to find out.

FortWayneMusic.com

how on earth can i get him NOT to like me

what should i do with this dilemma?

how on earth can i get him NOT to like me