Rowing

[Garr]

Does this sound familiar to you??

A Japanese company and an American company decided to have a canoe race on the Missouri River. Both teams practiced long and hard to reach their peak performance before the race. On the big day the Japanese won by a mile.

Afterwards, the American team became very discouraged and depressed. The American management decided that the reason for the crushing defeat had to be found. A "Measurement Team", made up of senior management was formed. They would investigate and recommend appropriate action.

Their conclusion was that the Japanese had 8 people rowing and 1 Person steering, while the Americans had 1 person rowing and 8 people steering.

So, American management hired a consulting company and paid them incredible amounts of money. They advised that too many people were steering the boat and not enough people were rowing. To prevent losing to the Japanese again next year, the rowing team's management structure was totally reorganized to 4 steering supervisors, 3 area steering superintendents and 1 assistant superintendent steering manager. They also implemented a new performance system that would give the 1 person rowing the boat greater incentive to work harder.

It was called the "Rowing Team Quality First Program", with meetings, dinners and free pens for the rower.

"We must give the rower empowerment and enrichments through this quality program."

The next year the Japanese won by 2 miles.

Humiliated, the American management laid off the rower for poor performance, halted development of a new canoe, sold the paddles, and canceled all capital investments for new equipment. Then they gave a High Performance Award to the steering managers and distributed the money saved as bonuses to the senior executives.

[=^-..-^=]

Just as well . . . . the EPA said there was too much human traffic on the river interfering with the ecosystem and was going to ban the race.

OSHA declared the boat unsafe, fined the rowers 10,000 in punitive damages, and recommended 1100 pounds worth of added safety equipment be added for the next race.

Management outsourced the whole race, and all the rowing to skilled rowers in India, put their American rowers to work promoting the race and selling tickets, and made millions on the TV rights and race-related schwag.

Congress, alarmed by constituents complaining that the Americans were losing the domestic rowing industry, subsidized a team that utilized the above OSHA-approved barge. The team wore uniforms that were provided by another government-run entity: the US Postal Service, and donated money to PBS and NPR.

Soon, there were too many rowers graduating from government-funded rowing schools, so the government paid them to sit at home and NOT row to keep rowing wages up.

The boat sank under its own weight.

[WBOB]

Dont forget PETA and
their "Save the Carp" program.