Corrupted Wish Game

The Hand of Poo · Post by **The Hand of Poo** » Mon Aug 29, 2005 4:06 pm

Granted, but your come-ons lack severely and you spend your life in forced-celibacy.

I wish there was a line to post on this thread so I can quit replying to the wrong post.

bwohlgemuth · Post by **bwohlgemuth** » Mon Aug 29, 2005 4:08 pm

Granted, but the car was built by stoned hippies and only comes with an 8-track tapedeck and shag carpeting, baby...

I wish I had an intelligent spell checker.

rdhotjillypepper · Post by **rdhotjillypepper** » Mon Aug 29, 2005 4:33 pm

Granted, but the spell checker is some annoying nerdy weirdo who stands behind you while you type and in a nasally voice corrects your mistakes loudly.

I wish I could have any job I wanted.

Garr · Post by **Garr** » Mon Aug 29, 2005 5:22 pm

granted, but you find out the next day that it's nothing like you imagined it would be, they only pay you $6 an hour, and you signed a 30 year contract stating that if you quit, you owe the company. . .ONE MEEEELION DOLLARS!

I wish I had THAT kind of job stability.

G Fresh · Post by **G Fresh** » Mon Aug 29, 2005 5:29 pm

Granted, but being Anderson's 24-7 love monkey isn't all that great.

I wish that eating wings and drinking beer helped you lose weight.

Garr · Post by **Garr** » Mon Aug 29, 2005 5:37 pm

G Fresh wrote:Granted, but being Anderson's 24-7 love monkey isn't all that great.

Bull crap! It's awesome!

Granted, but you can only do it at the Hooters rip off chain, Rooters, where all the women are 600 pounds, but wear the same uniforms!

I wish that dirt tasted like oreo cookies!

traumaqueen · Post by **traumaqueen** » Tue Aug 30, 2005 3:00 am

granted, but you are unable to control your dirt/oreo intake, and end up with debilitating adult-onset diabetes that controls every aspect of your life........... sorry.

i wish shaving my legs wasn't such a long and laborious process........

bwohlgemuth · Post by **bwohlgemuth** » Tue Aug 30, 2005 7:00 am

Granted, using a weed whacker is much, much faster.

I wish it wouldn't rain today...

Garr · Post by **Garr** » Tue Aug 30, 2005 8:10 am

granted, but the air superheats around you causing proximity burns on all exposed skin.

I wish I knew how to perform masectomies

InDaTrunk · Post by **InDaTrunk** » Tue Aug 30, 2005 9:22 am

Granted but your training is in hamsters.

I wish I wasn't all up in my head right now.

Garr · Post by **Garr** » Tue Aug 30, 2005 9:29 am

Granted, but you're all in your feet instead. . .and well. . .I've smelled them and DAMN! FOOOT FUUUUNK IN DA TRUNK!?!?!?

I wish I was a famous author.

InDaTrunk · Post by **InDaTrunk** » Tue Aug 30, 2005 9:31 am

Granted but your claim to fame is writing the insertion instructions that come on the box of tampons

I wish I was acceptable.

Garr · Post by **Garr** » Tue Aug 30, 2005 9:43 am

Granted, but now you're overly accepted and your social calendar is so full that you don't even have time to take a poo.

I wish I could pull a few strings!

bwohlgemuth · Post by **bwohlgemuth** » Tue Aug 30, 2005 11:02 am

Granted, you now string tennis rackets for fun and profit!

I wish my computer screen would clean itself.

The Hand of Poo · Post by **The Hand of Poo** » Tue Aug 30, 2005 11:06 am

Granted, It hops in the shower and short circuits.

I wish Wallace would hurry up with class already.