How to Sing the Blues
Posted: Sun Nov 26, 2006 7:20 am
HOW TO SING THE BLUES click the title for more. . .
1. Most blues begin "woke up this morning."
2. "I got a good woman" is a bad way to begin the blues, unless you add something nasty on the next line.
"I got a good woman- with the meanest dog in town."
3. Blues are simple. After you have the first line right, repeat it. Then find something that rhymes. Sort of.
"Got a good woman With the meanest dog in town. He got teeth like Margaret Thatcher And he weighs 'bout 500 pounds.
4. The blues are not about limitless choices.
5. Blues cars are Chevies and Cadillacs. Other acceptable blues transportation is the Greyhound bus or a southbound train. Walkin' plays a major part in the blues lifestyle. So does fixin' to die.
6. Teenagers can't sing the blues. Adults sing the blues. Blues adulthood means old enough to get the electric chair if you shoot a man in Memphis or Ann Arbor. But Memphis sounds better.
7. You can have the blues in New York City, but not in Brooklyn or Queens. Hard times in Vermont or North Dakota are just a depression. Chicago, St. Louis, Ann Arbor and Kansas City are still the best places to have the blues.
8. The following colors do not belong in the blues: a. violet b. beige c. mauve, d. taupe.
9. You can't have the blues in an office or a shopping mall, the lighting is wrong.
10. Good places for the Blues: a. the highway b. the jailhouse c. the empty bed.
Bad places: a. Ashrams b. Gallery openings c. Weekend in the Hamptons
1. Most blues begin "woke up this morning."
2. "I got a good woman" is a bad way to begin the blues, unless you add something nasty on the next line.
"I got a good woman- with the meanest dog in town."
3. Blues are simple. After you have the first line right, repeat it. Then find something that rhymes. Sort of.
"Got a good woman With the meanest dog in town. He got teeth like Margaret Thatcher And he weighs 'bout 500 pounds.
4. The blues are not about limitless choices.
5. Blues cars are Chevies and Cadillacs. Other acceptable blues transportation is the Greyhound bus or a southbound train. Walkin' plays a major part in the blues lifestyle. So does fixin' to die.
6. Teenagers can't sing the blues. Adults sing the blues. Blues adulthood means old enough to get the electric chair if you shoot a man in Memphis or Ann Arbor. But Memphis sounds better.
7. You can have the blues in New York City, but not in Brooklyn or Queens. Hard times in Vermont or North Dakota are just a depression. Chicago, St. Louis, Ann Arbor and Kansas City are still the best places to have the blues.
8. The following colors do not belong in the blues: a. violet b. beige c. mauve, d. taupe.
9. You can't have the blues in an office or a shopping mall, the lighting is wrong.
10. Good places for the Blues: a. the highway b. the jailhouse c. the empty bed.
Bad places: a. Ashrams b. Gallery openings c. Weekend in the Hamptons