FortWayneMusic.com

I'm sure you have all been here before. I've seen it many times.

You have a gig. Start loading in. Setting up your gear and pa. And then, "that guy" comes up, drunk off his tit at seven'o'clock and starts yelling about how much he wants to hear the rock and starts trying to help with your amps, drums whatever. He then proceeds to follow your everywhere in the bar telling you about how he can come up and play a song if you want him too and then wants to hit on the band's girlfriends and eat the band's food and asking for lessons and on and on and on.

The bar is otherwise empty cause it's pre-show. The bartenders don't really seem to mind.

Bear in mind, you did not bring a shovel to this gig so that option is out...

Dude, you could've just told me you had work to do.

DANG!

Isn't that guy, drunk and obnoxious by 7PM, either passed out or puking in the throne by 9PM?

Make him carry in all the heavy stuff....

Go into the bathroom. I can't be the only one who really enjoys/needs a good pre-show deuce. If he can handle standing in the bathroom talking to you through all of that - change your diet. I reccomend a hearty helping of the microwavable bean and cheese burritos.

If you have the extra cash...

Talk to the bartender.

Tell the bartender you need 4 shots of Everclear and 4 shots of water.

Set the 4 shots of water in front of you and the 4 shots of Everclear in front of him. Tell him it's part of your pre-show ritual. Down all 4 shots in a matter of seconds and if he's lagging behind, question his manhood. This species does not like to feel inferior. He will ultimately slam all 4 shots, pound his chest and within 20 minutes he'll be A.) puking or B.) yelling at his "ole lady" telling her he wanted to leave an hour ago.

Problem solved.

I like Anderson's idea a LOT. That would work for DJing, too.

Alternately, I just tell the drunk, obnoxious mothertrucker to get his drum kit out of his girlfriend's car, and get set up so the gig can start.

Works for me.

tiny wrote:I like Anderson's idea a LOT. That would work for DJing, too.

Alternately, I just tell the drunk, obnoxious mothertrucker to get his drum kit out of his girlfriend's car, and get set up so the gig can start.

Works for me.

I'm not Anderson. I'm The_Dude (Fleek).

Anderson is not nearly as cool as I am.

Do you play a Thunderbird? Apply to drunkards head. No damage to guitar, lots of damage to drunkards face.

Just pull your junk out...

He will either leave or service you.

It is a win-win.

Sorry, Fleek. Early in the morning you look alike.
(Insert reference to man-love or old, failing eyesight here.)

My apologies.

Fleek, aren't you and Ando "ONE" in the biblical sense anyway?

Rrrrright.