FortWayneMusic.com

Singer proposes toilet paper limits

SINGER Sheryl Crowe has proposed a unique way in which to beat global warming - limit the use of toilet paper.

Crowe and environmentalist Laurie David have been traveling across America on a two-week Stop Global Warming College Tour.

Crowe and David (co-producer of the documentary An Inconvenient Truth and wife of Larry David, who is the star of quirky US cable TV show Curb Your Enthusiasm and a co-creator of TV hit sitcom Seinfeld) have been touting their cause and chronicling their travels in a rather idiosyncratic blog.

In it, Crowe says: "I have spent the better part of this tour trying to come up with easy ways for us all to become a part of the solution to global warming.

"Although my ideas are in the earliest stages of development, they are, in my mind, worth investigating. One of my favorites is in the area of forest conservation which we heavily rely on for oxygen.

"I propose a limitation be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting.

"Now, I don't want to rob any law-abiding American of his or her God-given rights, but I think we are an industrious enough people that we can make it work with only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where 2 to 3 could be required. "

I really hope Cancer gets her before she regulates my shitting habits...

Apparently she thinks that just because she has (extremely hygenic) fairies and rainbows shooting out of her ass that everybody else does too and so in her mind one square of toilet paper is extremely reasonable.

Remind me to never, ever shake hands with her though.

never in my life have i dropped a deuce where less than two feet of toilet paper was not only used, but necessary.

One wonders what mode of travel Larry and Sheryl are using on their trek across the country... Probably not a bicycle, most likely not a Toyota Prius either, and I'm guessing not a veggie oil burning tour bus. Bet they've got the air running when it's hot...

Perhaps they should limit the amount of hot air allowed out of celebrity mouths - or number of penicilin shots after sleeping with Kid Rock...

I think she's absolutely right. We all grow patches of grass on the floors of our bathrooms and when we are done, we can all just scoot around on our butts like dogs do.

bassjones wrote:One wonders what mode of travel Larry and Sheryl are using on their trek across the country... Probably not a bicycle, most likely not a Toyota Prius either, and I'm guessing not a veggie oil burning tour bus. Bet they've got the air running when it's hot...

Perhaps they should limit the amount of hot air allowed out of celebrity mouths - or number of penicilin shots after sleeping with Kid Rock...

Actually, they are touring in a biodiesel bus, but until it takes less energy to create the biodiesel than the fuel itself actually produces it's a huge waste of resources.

Also, if somehow this one square per nonsense ever actually became a law, I think we should all protest by having a sh*t in.

Now is that what she was really talking about, dropping deuces? I mean, this is coming from a woman and they do use toilet paper for more than "taking the browns to the superbowl."

Now if the context is as everyone here is perceiving...than I agree with the above comments, but if not, can't that be a reasonable idea?

Just to let you in on a little secret... Most men stand to pee, and then shake it all over the floor, so TP for taking a piss, not really an issue for us guys. So if she want to limit it to 1 square for women who pee, fine i don't care, but I think a lot ladies are going be unhappy having to drip dry.

So if she want to limit it to 1 square for women who pee, fine i don't care, but I think a lot ladies are going be unhappy having to drip dry.

Oh hell, why do we need toilet paper at all? Just turn on a hair dryer for #1....toilet brush for #2.

"Now, I don't want to rob any law-abiding American of his or her God-given rights, but I think we are an industrious enough people that we can make it work with only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where 2 to 3 could be required. "

I would assume the phrase "his or her" refers to both sexes usage of TP.

Even if she only meant women, it's still a dumb idea. She wants to "propose a limitation on how many we can use in a situation"? Who's gonna police that? There's no way to enforce this and if they tried, well, God help the cop that's on duty (pun intended) in and around the Junk Food Alley Port-a-Potties during 3 Rivers Festival. He'd have a riot on his hands.

deek wrote:Now is that what she was really talking about, dropping deuces? I mean, this is coming from a woman and they do use toilet paper for more than "taking the browns to the superbowl."

Now if the context is as everyone here is perceiving...than I agree with the above comments, but if not, can't that be a reasonable idea?

No it's not a reasonable idea for the government to ration toilet paper. Also, how would they enforce it - cameras in the bathroom??? This is a terrible idea brought about by too much chemical experimentation of a stupid hippie, non-talented rockstar.

True, no argument there, it is a ridiculous statement. A lot of celebrities champion causes similar to this that can't be enforced or upheld one way or another. Reminds me of some friends of mine that enjoy debating topics that have no "right or wrong" conclusion:)

I think the idea, however idiotic she proposed, is a positive one...waste less. At the root of it, that is what she is trying to promote, which honestly, isn't a bad message, even though it was stated rather poorly.

I was just watching something on the news, some special with Diane Sawyer, or whoever. Stating that by just changing one regular bulb with a newer energy efficient one (like those squiggly-looking things)...that if everyone in the US did that, that we would save some insane amount of power, something like enough to power 20 million houses for a day...don't quote me on the numbers, but it was insane at how just a little change, when done en masse, could benefit.

I am no environmentalist, but her "idea", at the root, is a good one. And people, not just celebrities, say stupid things or a piece gets taken out of context all the time...

Maybe if we stop wasting our time scrutinizing people and maybe try to understand the "meaning" behind a statement like this, we'd all be better off!

Oh, and Garr, maybe try only using one foot of TP per wipe:)

with those 18" monsters that i churn out, i gotta have at least 24 inches of tp.

but what i really want to know is "are you stomping the bass?"

bassjones wrote:

deek wrote:Now is that what she was really talking about, dropping deuces? I mean, this is coming from a woman and they do use toilet paper for more than "taking the browns to the superbowl."

Now if the context is as everyone here is perceiving...than I agree with the above comments, but if not, can't that be a reasonable idea?

No it's not a reasonable idea for the government to ration toilet paper. Also, how would they enforce it - cameras in the bathroom??? This is a terrible idea brought about by too much chemical experimentation of a stupid hippie, non-talented rockstar.

I disagree with you there...I do thing it is unreasonable for the government to ration toilet paper. This is not the 1940s in time of war (or whatever timeframe that my statement would be applicable)...

The government is in place, IMO, to pass laws to keep corporations from utterly screwing the public. Obviously, the government does its thing to screw the public as well...but we should at least try to minimize that:)